Vivi Doesn’t want you to compliment her looks

It’s one thing when someone says something about how you look, but it’s a whole other depth of experience when someone can see through the exterior. In our chat, Vivi explained how she doesn’t like compliments from anyone, especially men, because she’d rather not have her attention drawn to her physical form when she’s worked so hard on de-centering it.

She loves her body — Vivi is one of the most confident people I’ve ever met, but it really grinds her gears that society (namely the patriarchy) indoctrinated us all to believe a woman’s greatest value is her youth, her looks and her body. It’s a trap because we’re all going to age, and with that comes a life fully lived, a revolution progressed, art created, love felt, wisdom shared and connections made. All of which are much more important than perpetually looking like a twenty year old.

I asked her how she feels about compliments and comments on her appearance when she’s put effort into an outfit as creative self expression, to which she explained there are still deep ways of delivering that compliment. If you have the intention of letting the other person know you see them beneath the surface, that will come through your words.

If Vivi were to approach me on the street she said she would comment on my glowing aura and how creative my outfit looks (which obviously I’d love to hear). She said for example, my studio is so intentional — it’s clear that I’ve put meticulous hours into vibe curation to build this world, and she was right, I had. I blushed because she could so clearly see my soul laid out all around me and being seen from one artist to another is an experience akin to great love.

I personally don’t mind compliments on my appearance but I also completely get where Vivi is coming from. It is hard to keep the negative voices out of my head regarding my looks — sometimes I am obsessed with myself and other times I look in the mirror and quickly glance away before the gremlin voice of the patriarchy comes in to fuck with me. It would be a lot easier if we all paid a different kind of attention to our physical forms and those of other’s.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so feel free to email or hit up my DM’s on instagram @prettykittys__ and you can find Vivi at @vivien.huss.fotografie

Love, Esther xo

Chat GPT didn’t come anywhere near this. I prefer the raw human vibes thank you very much.